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    May 03

    沉浮

      明明只是过去了短短的一天,却像是过去了漫长的一个世纪。仿佛一个人沉在鱼群和珊瑚堆积的深海,被世界遗忘。  
        前几天一个朋友在某情某景下问我是否感慨万千。我回答说:路过了的风景,就算回到原点,也找不到当时回眸一瞥的心动。好像酷酷的,拿的起放的下的。但是,不可以否认的是,还是会被牵动着情绪。
         于是不免自嘲,原来如此卑微和弱小,只是变化了,就如此仓皇无措的。

      在这些个被怪病折磨的日子里,是怎么去习惯梦境里的凶残和醒来的冷汗,怎么去习惯承受着心灵的煎熬和安慰别人说没关系,这些都已经在记忆里模糊了。在一个个看似强大的言语的背后,是真真正正的不确定和实实在在的硬撑,是停不下来的迷惘和无止尽的害怕。第一次发现自己有时候这么脆弱!真痛恨这副皮囊,为什么要有这样的惩罚!

      可是谁也帮不了的,这真的是一个人的战斗。无奈也无情的事实。

      于是,戒掉了在夜里的沉思,戒掉了早晨的迷糊,这种看似很好很保健的转变,但却把一个活生生的我血淋淋地弄得毫无生气。原来愿意的事情,一瞬间都兴趣全无,熟悉的朋友,却也不敢再联系。
         真的,不愿意把这样的自己摊在所有人的面前。

         还是习惯那些黑夜里,静谧的,可以倾听心声、可以让灵魂释放的夜晚。  

      希望能早一点结束这样的惩罚。

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    萝贝贝wrote:
    亲爱的 你要多保重哦! 默默祝福你``^_^
    May 5

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